Friday, June 17, 2011

Love Lessons from a Hot Dog and the Governator

Good morning my super sexy modern latinas!

Today is Freaky Friday. Freaky Friday is all about love and romance for you and your esposo. And how appropriate, seeing as my esposo and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage tomorrow. Now we've only been married for 6 years, but there are some nenas who have been married for 20 + years. When I have asked what their secret is to a happy marriage, they all say the same thing....cover your ears mi' is "the deed." Men will be men, and if they had their way, they would do "the deed," anytime, anywhere, any place, and if given the chance to never-ever be caught, probably with anyone. But after 20 + years of marriage, I wondered if it would get boring after awhile. But to keep a marriage, I think that it is important to make your marrido feel loved and desired. You heard of that Weiner, como se llama...? Anthony can't keep it in his pants. Oh, no mi'ja I'm sorry, I think that was Arnold Schwartzenagar. Or both? Aye mi'ja, who knows. Your nena was reading something that said that "The Governator," confided in his Latina housekeeper that he lived in a "deedless" marriage. And after a while, he was doing the deed with his Latina housekeeper. A psychologist reported that Anthony Hotdog, sent provocative pictures to women porque they were telling him "how hot," he was. Now, are these men "perros?" Of course they are mi'ja. But there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. The Hotdog, seemed like he suffered from self-esteem issues, que no? How many of our esposo's probably feel the same? Their six pack, has now turned into a panza full of six pack budlights. Their receding hairline, is now starting to look like Crusty the Clown. Hombres, even though they won't admit it, are self critical of themselves; just as much as we are. Pobresitos. Now, I'm sure it was flattering for the Hotdog, to feel desired. Now, the lesson is this mi'ja. Let's make our esposo's feel desired. Send him a naughty text message. Be spontaneous, and initiate "the deed." Now for those of you nenas who are blushing at the mere thought....isn't it better that he get this attention from you then from some other nena? Okay? Bueno.

Now for the lesson about "The Governator." Este hombre, claims that he lived in a "deedless," marriage. Okay, life gets busy. And men will be men. Is this an excuse? Heck no! But here is our lesson. Let's make time for the esposo. Dry spells are not good for any matrimono. Some of the secrets of the nenas who have been married for 20+ years. They have a secret drawer or chest full of fun props. Now if you are not familiar with these fun props or don't feel comfortable, then I understand nena. But mind you, even the goody goody hombres, have a little bit of naughty in them. So would you rather he be naughty with someone else or with you? There are parties where you can buy your naughty props. How does your nena know? Because my naughty hermana had one about a year ago. Was our mama invited? Tu crees mi'ja! I would have been mortified! Which brings your nena to another point. Some of us nenas were talking about it at lunch one day. If you have a drawer or chest, you better have a very close amiga with an extra key to your love den. You will have to make this nena pinky swear that she will get to that drawer or chest before your mama does, and dump that thing at a bottom of a lake, if you and your esposo ever die. Aye mi'ja, can you imagine your mama going through your feather boa, and fufu handcuffs! Or even worse, your papa! So, find an amiga, whom you trust, who will know what to do in an emergency.

So remember, make your esposo feel desired and don't be afraid to have some fun goodies for your marriage.

Blushing at the thought of my mama finding my drawer full of goodies,

Tu nena para siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stweart ;)

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