Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Souper Yummy Chicken Tortilla Soup

Buenos Dias my Super Sexy Modern Latinas!

Your nena has received requests for her Chicken Tortilla Chip caldito. Entonces, here it is mi'ja!


1 small onion, chopped

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 tablespoon of canola oil

1 roasted chicken, skin removed and shredded

2 large carrots, diced

2 tablespoons of fresh, minced cilantro

1 tablespoon of cumino (cumin)

1 tablespoon of chilli powder

1 can of spicy v-8 juice

1 can of corn, water drained

1 small can of tomato sauce

1 can of mexican style stewed tomatoes

1 jalapeno, seeded for less heat, (Your nena leaves the seeds in)

2 bay leaves

2 boxes of chicken stock


cubed avocado

chopped cilantro

shredded mexican cheese blend or cotija cheese

tortilla chips broken into bite size pieces


1. Heat the oil in a soup pot, saute onion, chile and carrots on medium high heat, until tender about 4 minutes, add garlic and saute for 2 minutos mas.

2. Pour in chicken stock, tomato sauce, v-8 juice, stewed tomatoes, can of corn. Add bay leaves, cumino, chilli powder, and cilantro. Add the shredded pollo.

3. Bring to a boil, and then turn heat down and let simmer for about 30 minutes, until carrots are tender.

4. Add salt and pepper to taste.

5. Pour caldito, in your favorite bowl. Top with cilantro, cubed avocado, sprinkle of queso, and tortilla chips.

This is one of your nena's favorite calditos. On a cold, rainy noche, this caldito is Souper Yummy, and will warm your familia's hearts, and fill their pancitas.

Tu nena para Siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stewart ;)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Is the grass always greener on the other side?

Good Morning my Super Sexy Modern Latinas!

Today is Talk to Me Tuesday. Our topic for the day....."Is the grass always greener on the other side?" Many a nena has heard the expression "The grass isn't always greener on the other side." But with all these types of social medias out there "mug book," "my place," and "tweeter," have we as a society become enslaved to the idea of nenas and nenes having picture perfect vidas? These social medias have allowed us to create our picture perfect lives, often bragging about our esposos, familias, girls nights out, how many libras we've lost, those 20 expensive vacations we took in one summer, big houses and expensive cars. A little chistoso that these pictures don't show the magnified negative proofs. Tu sabes mi'ja, that girls night out wasn't so fabulous when your gran amiga threw up all over your expensive Manolo Blahniks that you saved your hard earned pennys for. Or the cropped out picture of people shooting you dirty looks because your munchikin is screaming her head off on the plane all the way from LAX to the Bahamas. Or that super handsome esposo of yours who actually makes you feel like dirt behind closed doors. But don't we look at these perfect pictures on "mug book," and think, gosh that Nena has it all together: the perfect life with the perfect handsome esposo, and the most beautiful well behaved munchkins. How many nenas, (and be totally honest) have used these social medias to check up on old high school crushes or college flames? You look through their pictures and think to yourself, "What!? He married that!? or mmm.....hmmmm.......serves him right....gordito, blind AND bald. That's what he gets for dumping me for her." Your nena is going to go out on a limb and say that many of these social medias have become a dangerous path for those who dare to actually step foot onto the other side of the grass. There are some nenas who may look at those fotos and think "DANG! He looks FINE!Why couldn't he have looked that good when he was with me!?" And for some nenas and nenes, these social medias become dangerous tools. We may long for what belongs to someone else, or covet what another nena has. Rather than become enslaved to these social medias and the idea of a perfect life and what could have been, let's put our focus on watering the grass that is right underneath our feet. No one has a perfect life, mi'ja, no one. And those of us who think we have a perfect life and like to brag about our perfect life on "mug book", look a little closer, I think your grass needs some watering. And for those who have started to set foot on the other side of the grass, be careful. There are always repercussions for setting foot on someone else's grass. Lesson for the day: The grass isn't always greener on the other side. So let's stop feeling bad about our own life and fanatasizing that we had someone else's. Focus on what's important: a beautiful healthy relationship with the Master Gardner who planted the seeds of our grass; and who entrusted us to water, care for and remove any facades of weeds that tend to look like green grass.

P.S. If you want some juicy reading material, read Genesis Chapter 39. It is about a nena who ventures to the other side of the grass.

Appreciating my not so perfect life, and keeping my feet planted on my own grass,

Tu nena para siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stewart ;)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Super Sexy Modern Latina's Way of Life!: Go Ugly or Go home!

The Super Sexy Modern Latina's Way of Life!: Go Ugly or Go home!: "Good morning my Super Sexy Modern Latinas! Today is talk to me Tuesday. On Friday we learned some lessons from 'The Hot Dog,' and 'T..."

Go Ugly or Go home!

Good morning my Super Sexy Modern Latinas!

Today is talk to me Tuesday. On Friday we learned some lessons from "The Hot Dog," and "The Governator." And today your nena, just can't leave it alone. Back in his hay day, I will give it to Arnold Schwarzenegar that he was pretty hot. Anthony Weiner....nice bod, pero kinda reminds me of an old slimy high school novio. But some nenas found him "hot". Now let's talk about these nenas who said "I do," to these perros. I wonder if before these nenas said "I do," if they worried about their "hot," fiancees/potential esposos cheating? Do you ever see a hot hombre with a mediocre nena? I mean, the nena isn't fea. But she's no Jennifer Lopez either. Your nena has long pondered this question....Why do "hot," hombres marry not so hot nenas? Are they attention seeking? Are they afraid that a beautiful counterpart will steal their thunder and turn more heads? Or maybe the nena has a great personality? Quien sabe! Now don't get me wrong mi'ja, it works both ways. Sometimes you see a gorgeous nena with a skinny rat face hombre. Forgive me mamita J.Lo, pero what were you thinking when you married the biggest rat face of them all Marc Anthony? Inquiring minds want to know. And to top it off, Rat face was married to Miss Universe at one time! Por que!? Okay, maybe it's his voice. Your nena is a sucker for hombres who can croon. But come on mi'ja, once the beer goggles come off, put your thinking cap back on. But back to our lesson from "The Hot Dog," and "The Governator." Most nenas will tell you that when they look for a potential marrido, they want a man who is:

1. Good Looking

2. Smart

3. Funny

4. Honest

5. Successful

6. Physically fit

7. Has all his teeth, and if they are straight and pearly white, then that's an added bonus!

8. Hardworking

9. Believes in Diosito

10. Good Credit

Notice, how off the top of my head and the first one that I wrote was "Good Looking?" Aye mi'ja don't judge your nena. As much as we say that looks don't matter, I think they do. But! In a day and age where "Good Looks," seem to cause many nenas heartaches and broken up marriages... Here is my question to you: Should nenas marry hombres who are ugly? Look at J.Lo, she married Marc Anthony and they are going on strong. (As much as I think she is way too gorgeous for him). Would you keep your beer goggles on for a lifetime of fidelity? Do ugly men cheat just as much as good looking men? And if you have a fine man mi'ja, you better keep his panza full of home made tortillas and budlights. Why do you think your mami still makes home made tortillas? Because your papi tells her too!? Tu crees, mi'ja. What nena is going to want a man who is fat and balding? Mami knows how to keep her man! All joking aside mi'ja. Tell me what you think. Should women marry ugly men?

Feeding her esposo homemade tortillas,

Tu nena para siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stewart ;)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Love Lessons from a Hot Dog and the Governator

Good morning my super sexy modern latinas!

Today is Freaky Friday. Freaky Friday is all about love and romance for you and your esposo. And how appropriate, seeing as my esposo and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage tomorrow. Now we've only been married for 6 years, but there are some nenas who have been married for 20 + years. When I have asked what their secret is to a happy marriage, they all say the same thing....cover your ears mi'ja....it is "the deed." Men will be men, and if they had their way, they would do "the deed," anytime, anywhere, any place, and if given the chance to never-ever be caught, probably with anyone. But after 20 + years of marriage, I wondered if it would get boring after awhile. But to keep a marriage, I think that it is important to make your marrido feel loved and desired. You heard of that Weiner, como se llama...? Anthony can't keep it in his pants. Oh, no mi'ja I'm sorry, I think that was Arnold Schwartzenagar. Or both? Aye mi'ja, who knows. Your nena was reading something that said that "The Governator," confided in his Latina housekeeper that he lived in a "deedless" marriage. And after a while, he was doing the deed with his Latina housekeeper. A psychologist reported that Anthony Hotdog, sent provocative pictures to women porque they were telling him "how hot," he was. Now, are these men "perros?" Of course they are mi'ja. But there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. The Hotdog, seemed like he suffered from self-esteem issues, que no? How many of our esposo's probably feel the same? Their six pack, has now turned into a panza full of six pack budlights. Their receding hairline, is now starting to look like Crusty the Clown. Hombres, even though they won't admit it, are self critical of themselves; just as much as we are. Pobresitos. Now, I'm sure it was flattering for the Hotdog, to feel desired. Now, the lesson is this mi'ja. Let's make our esposo's feel desired. Send him a naughty text message. Be spontaneous, and initiate "the deed." Now for those of you nenas who are blushing at the mere thought....isn't it better that he get this attention from you then from some other nena? Okay? Bueno.

Now for the lesson about "The Governator." Este hombre, claims that he lived in a "deedless," marriage. Okay, life gets busy. And men will be men. Is this an excuse? Heck no! But here is our lesson. Let's make time for the esposo. Dry spells are not good for any matrimono. Some of the secrets of the nenas who have been married for 20+ years. They have a secret drawer or chest full of fun props. Now if you are not familiar with these fun props or don't feel comfortable, then I understand nena. But mind you, even the goody goody hombres, have a little bit of naughty in them. So would you rather he be naughty with someone else or with you? There are parties where you can buy your naughty props. How does your nena know? Because my naughty hermana had one about a year ago. Was our mama invited? Tu crees mi'ja! I would have been mortified! Which brings your nena to another point. Some of us nenas were talking about it at lunch one day. If you have a drawer or chest, you better have a very close amiga with an extra key to your love den. You will have to make this nena pinky swear that she will get to that drawer or chest before your mama does, and dump that thing at a bottom of a lake, if you and your esposo ever die. Aye mi'ja, can you imagine your mama going through your feather boa, and fufu handcuffs! Or even worse, your papa! So, find an amiga, whom you trust, who will know what to do in an emergency.

So remember, make your esposo feel desired and don't be afraid to have some fun goodies for your marriage.

Blushing at the thought of my mama finding my drawer full of goodies,

Tu nena para siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stweart ;)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Super Sexy Modern Latina's Way of Life!: Fly girls drink to their health!

The Super Sexy Modern Latina's Way of Life!: Fly girls drink to their health!: "Hello my Super Sexy Modern Latinas! Today is todo para mi Thursday. It is a day that is all about you and for you! Today's focus is o..."

Fly girls drink to their health!

Hello my Super Sexy Modern Latinas!

Today is todo para mi Thursday. It is a day that is all about you and for you! Today's focus is our salud (health). How many of us nenas, exercise or eat healthfully? Tu sabes, mi'ja like fruits and veggies. And no mi'ja, that cherry on top of your hot fudge sundae, does not count as a serving of fruit. Does your nena love to exercise? Of course not mi'ja. Does your nena like to eat? Um...yeah! It is in our cultura to love food as much as our pocket books. But thankfully, your nena has surrounded herself with good friends who actually like working out. Last year, your nena actually ran a 1/2 marathon, 13.1 miles of pure...(what the heck was I thinking???) But gracias a Diosito,

I actually finished without passing out. Thank goodness for my amigas who were there to motivate and hold your nena accountable. That's it! Right there, mi'ja. Find a workout buddy or two who can motivate you to exercise. My amigas and I really love this new form of exercise called "Zumba." Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, your nena gets to shake her nalgitas to the sexy voice of Pit Bull. Our instructor even takes it way back to C&C music factory, where your nena imagines that she is a fly girl, wearing a hyper color crop top, with great abs to match, dancing for her life, just to dance with the sexy-beautifully-bald Wayans brothers. But alas, the music stops and your nena gets back to reality only to find that her six pack abs are actually just her lonha (stomach roll)! LOL But lonha or not, it is still a fun way to exercise. Your nena has even got back into running. So, find a form of exercise that you like and have a work out buddy to help you stick with it.

Now let's talk about our eating habbits. Your nena is not even gonna lie. This is the hard part for me mi'ja. I love taco bell and Wimpy's burgers just as much as the next gordita. And I can actually eat as much as my esposo, if it is the right time of the month. But should I be eating as much as the esposo? No. Why do I do it??? I don't know mi'ja, I just do. It just tastes sooooo good. Your nena is actually pretty good at eating fruits and veggies. Your nena tries to incorporate at least one healthy vegetable at dinner time. What helps your nena is an electric steamer. I steam broccoli, and asparagus in that thing, and occasionally some frozen tamales! LOL But here is where your nena is going to try and improve.

1. I am going to try and use a salad plate for dinner instead of a dinner plate.

2. When I must, I will order a kid's meal or smaller version of what I usually eat at a fast food restaurant. Que Diosito me ayuda, especially at Taco Bell.

3. Your nena is going to drink to her health. (Mi amiga, told me all about this great green drink, that she swears by.) And no mi'ja it's not a mojito, it is a cocktail full of antioxidants for your skin. Anything to get skin like J.Lo's, que no?

I think these three things are all your nena can handle for right now. Giving up my pepsi? C'mon now mi'ja, lets not get crazy. My ALS (Angry Latina Syndrome) has not kicked in for a while, so let's not let that gata out of the bag just yet.

shaking her nalgitas and drinking to her health,

tu fly girl para siempre,

The Latin Marrrta Stewart ;)

P.S. Here is a recipe for a green drink that was borrowed from Dr. Oz.


2 cups of spinach

2 apples

2 cups of cucumber

juice of 1 lime

juice of 1/2 a lemon

1 bunch of parsley

1 head of celery

1/2 inch. or teaspoon of ginger root

Directions: Blend all the ingredients together and serve chilled. Salud!